Summer Escapes to Egypt’s North Coast: Where the Heat is Only Half the Story

Summer vacations on the North Coast of Egypt are like an annual pilgrimage for Cairo's elite, a journey that combines the raw beauty of the Mediterranean with the simple goal of escaping the city’s unbearable heat. It’s the sort of place where men don their flashiest swimming trunks, women sport wide-brimmed hats that double as solar panels, and everyone pretends that the sunscreen they're slathering on is a fashion statement rather than a desperate plea to the sun gods.

At the heart of this ritual is Hacienda, Marassi, and all the other gated slices of paradise that dot the coast, where sand is imported, and so is the attitude. Here, every lounge chair tells a story of triumph over the urban grind—never mind that the triumph sometimes looks like a carefully choreographed dance of Instagram poses and competitive beach volleyball.

You see, the North Coast is not just about the sea and the sun. It’s a test of endurance, a survival course in overcooked barbecues, night-long beach parties, and dodging rogue beach balls. It’s where a serene afternoon dip can be rudely interrupted by the deafening roar of a Jet Ski—or worse, an impromptu concert by someone who has mistaken their karaoke machine for a musical gift.

Then there's the quest for the perfect tan, which is practically a contact sport. You can always spot the newbies—they're the ones who apply SPF 50 at 9 AM and think they're safe. By noon, they're the color of a well-cooked lobster and huddled under an umbrella, cursing the sun, the sand, and the guy who sold them the "authentic" aloe vera that smells suspiciously like household cleaner.

Dining on the North Coast is another experience altogether. Restaurants compete for the title of "most exclusive reservation," a game that’s part art and part combat sport. Your standing in the community can be measured by how effortlessly you can secure a table at the latest hotspot, where the fish is flown in daily from places that sound exotic but are actually just the Cairo Fish Market with a better PR team.

And let’s not forget the kids, who are herded into endless loops of swim lessons, soccer games, and the occasional sandcastle competition that somehow turns into a fierce debate over zoning regulations. The real heroes are the grandparents, who are deployed as the summer’s uncredited lifeguards and dispute mediators, proving once again that retirement is not a vacation—it’s an unpaid internship.

But for all the chaotic bliss, there is something deeply comforting about the North Coast’s unchanging rituals. It’s where old friends reconnect over shisha and backgammon, where love blossoms under starry skies, and where even the most harried urbanites find a moment of peace—if only between the third espresso martini and the first reluctant phone check for work emails.

So here’s to the North Coast of Egypt, where the heat is relentless, the Wi-Fi is patchy, and the memories are sun-kissed and sand-sprinkled. It’s not perfect, but then again, neither is the ideal summer—it's just the perfect excuse to escape, unwind, and return to Cairo two shades darker and ten times more stressed about your inbox. But that's a problem for September.